the funny side

Too much GTA spoiling NY & London cops

Police have been doing a little too much of GTA on the streets. Especially the London cops who are only next to NY cops in playing real-life GTA.In the midst of a mass investigation for shooting a mentally challenged teen who was carrying a hairbrush (which was mistook for a gun), police have apologized for their actions and blamed their random shooting on "too much Grand Theft Auto."

Police say they had been playing the game for five straight hours everyday over the past few weeks. "We had the whole police force taking turns on our Playstation, trying to see who could get the most kills in a half hour," said one officer.

At around 9:00 that night, the police station received a frantic phone call from a woman stating that her mother was choking on her own dentures, to which the police responded "We'll be there in twenty minutes or so, just let us finish assassinating these rival gang leaders and then Diaz"

After finally finishing their round of the game "It took a particularly long time," said one officer, "There was one old woman who was particularly reluctant about letting me beat her to death" He smiled reminiscently, and his fellow officer said, "You got that bitch eventually, though," and they high-fived in a manly way. The officers then set out towards the building where the old woman was choking on her dentures.

Said one of the accused NYC Officer, "We were about half way there when we thought to ourselves, 'hey, what are we doing driving out to save some 90 year old woman who's not even HOT? ' We decided instead to go out for a little joyride," continued the officer, "So we started cruising around, talking about some of the whores we had shot in the game and were wondering whether we could catch Saw IV before dinner, when we saw this kid walking down the street, carrying a hairbrush."

"We thought, hell, why not play a little real-life Grand Theft Auto," said another officer, smiling reminiscently, "So we got out of the car and shot him GTA style. We shot him till the mags were out, so we could reload in GTA style."

After shooting the teen, witnesses report, the policemen looked over their heads excitedly, hoping to see "kill points" building up. Then, they got back in their car and drove off at reckless speeds, before crashing into a tree several blocks later. They then made the attempt to jack the car of a particularly obese man; unfortunately and rather surprisingly, however, the man actually fought back. The police beat him up with baseball bats and got into his car and drove off.

Before sending the three officers to serve their 4 week prison sentence, the judge in the court case complimented them on their fine kill, and made sure in his verdict that they would be placed in a cell where they could play the latest version of GTA. Paul P, a source, said that the officers were close to completing the previous version. The police chief said such arrangements would shortly be made in every police station so the cops could enhance their GTA skills.

posted by jack frost @ 10:05 AM 1 Comments